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Submissions should be based on famous poems..either beginnings or complete parodied versions. What will you win? Gee, something... maybe several somethings. "Valuable somethings?" you ask. Probably not. We're on a budget here |
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"Gunga Din" Rudyard Kipling (rough draft) you may talk of fluffer nutter when you're spreading peanut butter having been commanded to the kitchen to make lunch but when it comes to eating you just keep on repeating "you'll eat sandwiches, and damnit all you'll like it" |
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13 Ways of Looking at a Black Spot 1 Of all the things in my soup my eye would only focus on the floating black spot 2 I was of three minds which accounts for my permanent record in high school on which there were three black spots 3 The black spot caught between her teeth it was a small part of her lack of appeal 4 A floor and 4 walls and a ceiling are one A floor and 4 walls and a ceiling with a black spot are a nuisance 5 I do not know which I prefer the exquisite annoyance of a black spot or the smug satisfaction of a black spot after it's been successfully painted 6 Toothpaste filled the worst holes as a quick fix The mar of the black spot flickered in the eyes of the landlord, traced in it a charge against my security deposit |
7 Oh people, people why are you careless at parties do you not see how the black spot smears down the wall behind the keg before you 8 I've painted noble base colors and breathtaking trim accents But I know too that the black spot will bleed through whatever I paint 9 when the black spot disappeared under the primer it marked the wall with one of many circles 10 at the sight of a black burn spot on the white carpet even my room mate would get pissed 11 He moved to New England In a U-Haul Once, a fear pierced him in that he mistook the shadow of the oil pan for the black spot under his '72 Chevy 12 The paint is rolled on The black spot must be covered 13 It was yesterday all day today His head was throbbing and it was going to throb the black spots before his eyes wouldn't go away Carl Seiple seiple@kutztown.edu |
Sonnet to the Poor Man Whose Parents Named Him After an Amphibious Lizard The Newt is too much with us, late and soon; Strutting and preening, he lays waste all sense; Too thick he is, and that much is too dense. The dittoheads all echo to the loon; The literates are howling at all hours, They gather up his errors like spring flowers, For this, for that, for all, they call him, "Goon!" It moves him not. -- Great God! He'd rather be A Christian suckled in a creed outworn; So might he, standing in the grand TV, Give glimpses that will make us all forlorn; I had a vision that he came to me, Tooting upon his own, well-wrinkled, horn. Anitra L. Freeman anitra@speakeasy.org |
WARNING: The following does NOT contain a recommended cure for PMS. It DOES contain SATIRE. If the Earl of Surrey Experienced PMS That time of month thou mayst in me behold when yellow skin, or pale, or gray does hang upon these limbs that shake the paper, rolled, against all choirs, and bares the ruined fang. In me thou see'st the midnight of such day as with relief does ride off to the west, which black moods by each cry doth eat away - death's second self, which stuns but does not rest. In me thou see'st the raging of such fire, paints dreams of glory on the blackened sky, and makes the dark bed where it must expire, consum'd with that which it was nourish'd by. This thou perceiv'st, which makes thy love more strong to love that well which thou must shoot ere long. Anitra L. Freeman anitra@speakeasy.org |
Deer Park Writer's Group (1) Deer Park is the library Researcher skims its glossary. Every poetry from every psaltery Progress in artistry. (2) Writer is the group Author plots a coup. Every scoop from every soup Stimulate a croup. (3) Helen is the founder Member resolves its bounder. Every toner from every sounder Unite as rounder. (4) Commitment is the virtue Composer longs to pursue. Every cue from every hue Recognition in due. (5) Persistent is the character Artist motivates attracter. Every enacter from every starter Fulfill as exacter. (6) Creative is the secret Producer never regret. Every banneret from every anchoret Ideal to interpret. (7) Reader is the leader Follower elects its adviser. Every listener from every describer Delight as subscriber. (8) Deer Park Writer's Group is the gathering Cheerer tells its fathering. Every daring from every sharing Feast in catering. Amy Ting co239@freenet.toronto.on.ca |
TODAY'S KID Blessings on thee, little boy Tennis-shoe clad and face of joy with thy torn up 502s and your sweat shirt - Seahawk Blue. Your lips so red and red faced too in love with Sally, apartment 92. You hit the beach for your summer tan borrow a surfboard from your buddy Dan. Oh, my heart goes out to you for I was once teen-age too. Oh, that I could sleep til noon breakfast on pizza and macaroons. Enjoy your pleasure while ye may for soon you'll find you're old and grey. Connie Walle walle@u.washington.edu |
Travesty of: Recuerdo, by Edna St. Vincent Millay Ricardo We were very redneck, we were very hairy. We had run around all night trying to catch a fairy. They were bold and bright, they ran fast and far-- So we gave it up, and headed for a bar. We lay in the gutter underneath the moon; And the sirens kept blowing, and the dawn came soon. We were very redneck, we were very hairy. We had run around all night trying to catch a fairy. And you ate a taco, and I ate an egg, And the health department's still looking for the yegg; And your skin went pale, and I caught a chill, And your nose was dripping, and I felt quite ill. We were very redneck, we were very hairy. We had run around all night trying to catch a fairy. We hailed "Hello, you mother!" to a dread-locked head, And ran away like blazes, quite certain we were dead; We were mugged by a gang for our jackets and shoes, And they took all our money. We didn't make the news. Anitra L. Freeman anitra@speakeasy.org |
TIGERS! TIGERS! Tigers! Tigers! Burning bright, On the gridiron sod of night; Who designed such plays for thee, Formations of pure symmetry? What's the signal caller's name? Is he alone your cause of fame? Who taught thy fearsome backfield three To run with raw ferocity? What the gameplan? Who the guard? That opens holes for yard on yard? And of thy defense, who made thee? Forged thy rush velocity? What tactician on this earth To such complexity gave birth? He used to think quite differently; Did he who made the Rams make thee? I'll truth be fired by our alums, 'Til to our team a leader comes. Thus I all thy plays will poach, Unless you let us hire your coach. Tigers! Tigers! Burning bright, On the gridiron sod of night. Who designed such plays for thee, Formations of pure symmetry? Bill Shumaker passprin@erols.com |
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